CONTENT WARNING: suicide, some violence
[Letter found by the side of a dead witchfinder]
I cannot stand these images! The woman from the cabin, the witch, she did this to me! She made me see my worst memories, one thousand terrible futures that I cannot unsee!
I cannot make these images leave my conscious. They taunt me day and night, sunrise to sunset!
To whoever finds me, I pray, avoid her - the witch with the owl! She will destroy you, she will ruin you!
With my sword, I will reach the Watcher, and I await their judgment with much unease - but I must be free of this turmoil!
She must be the witch that humiliated Volpe before his death! If only she could have humiliated me instead of forcing past, present and future to collide. My wife, my daughter, and what may come - I cannot stand it any longer.
Moira, Delila, I will see you shortly - and I pray that you are not ashamed of what I have done.
Katlego
Ellie is preparing dinner for us both. The warmth of the cauldron is a blessing in this horrific weather.
The papers are always full of the same rubbish, but reading repetitive headlines is something to do whilst custom is slow. All the same - witches, witchfinders and the like... until an article catches my eye about the apparent suicide of a witchfinder in the woods.
They found a note lying next to him, speaking of...a witch who made him see 'his worst nightmares' and 'one thousand terrible futures'...
No.
No, no no... I just meant to scare him away.
'I pray, avoid her - the witch with the owl! She will destroy you, she will ruin you'.
My hands quake, and Nia ruffles her feathers. My breaths grow unsteady. It feels as if there is ice in my throat as a chill laced with remorse spreads throughout my entire body.
All these years, I promised to myself that I'd never do harm to someone at all, let alone take a life.
After years of fearing my own magic, and a split-second of making peace with it, I've killed somebody with it. My magic was powerful enough to fracture someone's psyche enough to make them want to do this to themselves.
I was just trying to defend myself. I didn't mean for this to happen at all... and now it's my turn to be battered by one thousand terrible future outcomes.
"We can't stay here, darling."
Ellie turns to me with an eyebrow raised.
"What are you talking about, my love? This is our home. We needn't fear-"
"Yes, we do - I'm a murderer! The witchfinder I used my magic on, he - he took his own life! He- the letter, he - look!"
I hand her the paper, but Ellie barely responds. There is nothing - absolutely nothing - I could do to change her opinion on me. Not even murder.
"Kat, he did this to himself. You're not a murderer-"
I can hear it outside - the growing chants, angry voices...in my defense? Oh, goodness, how many people read this story in the paper? I'm glad to the bottom of my heart that there are people willing to stand by me despite this, but I know for a fact there's a certain group of people who will take this and use it as an excuse...What I did was intended to help defend witches, and now, it's going to be used as an excuse to kill them. I should've thought about it before doing anything...Not only that, but a good number of my customers are going to feel as if I misled them when I tried to convince them I was safe.
"I have to face them."
"Katlego-"
"Wait there, Ellie, please."
I make my way towards the door, and open it gently. There's four people stood outside of my house, most of whom I recognise from Volpe's speech. These people stood up for me back then, for the most part, and now they're here trying to fend off witchfinders from my house.
I can't balance it - the icy sensation of my guilt and the warm sensation of their support.
- No, they've no reason to support me! Can't they see what I'm capable of? I'm all talk. I talk of pacifism, I alienated Oskar by questioning his decision to attack Samuel - and now look at me.
"Leave her alone! Katlego has done nothing but try to protect people since she got here! All she can do is humiliate people! If he felt so humiliated that he did what he did, why is that her fault?"
"You really think one witchfinder killing himself is anything comparable to the amount of people you lot have collectively killed?"
"One less witchfinder is a blessing! Kat's doing us a favour!"
A favour? What favour could I possibly be doing?
It doesn't matter anymore. The people shouldn't be defending me at this point, and the witchfinders, well...
I leap through the air, terrifying the townspeople and the witchfinders. The townspeople, they will see who I truly am - a monster, a predator, not someone worth defending to the death. The witchfinders, they will see just how monstrous I can truly be.
I tackle one of them to the ground as his friends flee- and what friends they are for leaving him to it. The townspeople scream. I wonder how they feel. Do they still feel the need to defend me, or do they see me for what's been hidden underneath for so many years?
How will my parents see me? Mme, she tells me that one day I will have to defend myself, but what will she think when she knows there is blood on my hands? When she realises I misused the gift of boferefere that she gave me? The reason we do not share this gift is because of its dangers, and I have fully taken advantage of it.
The witchfinder tries to put a sword through me, and there's a nasty sting in my shoulder- and yet I am too enraged to care. I have never given in like this before. I picture his face between my jaws and my fangs in his thr-
No! Not again, Katlego! Haven't you done enough already?
But they got away with it, didn't they? All your friends, all the people you love who can kill like it's nothing! They aren't drowning in guilt the way you are, and they've done far worse than you have!
All the witchfinder suffers is a few bleeding claw marks on his arm and likely a bruised backside. He runs in the same directions as the friends who betrayed him.
The townspeople stare, wide-eyed and frozen like deer. My limbs feel like steel and my brain feels as if it is melting in my skull.
Why? Why do you defend me?
"Katlego, please, you know why we defend you! The same reason so many people eventually defended you back in the day - you're an amazing person. Nothing you could do could ever change that, and this isn't your fault! You can't have made him want to kill himself."
I showed him his deepest fears! I brought his darkest nightmares to life! I only meant to chase him away, and yet what I did lead to his death! That is the true nature of my powers - the human psyche is like clay to us! Don't you see? None of you are safe around me! I misled each and every one of you and I promise to the bottom of my cold heart that I am so deeply sorry... I love each and every one of you, but I cannot stay - none of you are safe!
They back away slowly as I glare at them, their eyes full of sorrow, and mine, too, only they can't see that on a tiger's face.
Ellie runs outside, having missed the majority of the commotion.
"Ellie, please, we have to go."
Sethunya is agitated. I'll need to calm her down - we can't remain here.
"Kat, please, think about this! We promised ourselves we'd be here for the long term. Owen Annorin rebuilt our home for us, and now we're just going to leave it here? Over one witchfinder? You're not a murderer! This isn't your fault!"
"Ellie, I'm telling you we can't stay here anymore - not after this. I'm sorry, I know we built a life here, but I can't. They'll come for us - for good this time."
"Kat, you've done nothing wrong! We have a whole bunch of people that would defend you! The Reyes family, our customers, the people who stood up for you way back when! Why won't you listen to me? You didn't hurt anyone! You left a scratch on a witchfinder with your claws and that's - I'm not going to change your mind, am I?"
No, she can't, but I appreciate her trying.
* * *
We make our way back to Glimmerbrook on the back of Sethunya. The midnight air leaves a chill in my bones. I don't look back. Ellie doesn't stop looking back.
"Kat, I don't understand you right now. I really don't."
"I owe Tsuna an enormous apology."
"You owe nothing to no-one. You have nothing to feel guilty about."
"I'm not like everyone else, Ellie. Just because people like Owen and Oskar don't bat an eyelid at taking a life, it doesn't mean I'm the same."
I know I'm leaving Henford without an affordable healer. Now all that's left is Henry's wife at the Willow Creek apothecary - but I can't stay there. Eventually, everyone there will fear me - they won't want my help - and perhaps they have a good reason to, after all.
I tell Ellie that I am not like everyone else, but maybe I'm no different. Maybe me shattering a man's psyche to the point where he kills himself is no different than Owen Annorin leaving his father outside where he knew someone out there would want him dead.
Glimmerbrook is the only place for us now.
Eventually, maybe it'll be the only place for any witch. Maybe it always has been, and maybe it always will be.
Tsuna
I've looked everywhere for them both.
The snow is heavy and has fallen overnight on whatever footsteps I could have used to track them down. I ask the others - they say they didn't hear a struggle. They didn't hear any footsteps either. If there was a violent altercation of any sort, then we'd have heard something.
Could they have used their magic to teleport? Most witches wouldn't dare - it takes a lot of focus, and you could end up anywhere if you don't.
I can't shake the fact that both Jemima and Clara have been on-edge since Volpe's murder. Annabeth mentioned that both were concerned about a potential surge in witchfinders, where all of them would be vying to replace him.
It makes me want to tear myself apart. How? How did this happen? How did none of us hear them? It seems likely that there was no altercation or we've had heard it in our little settlement... I keep telling myself this, but I think I know what the answer may be.
Is there a chance they could have left on their own accord?
Áine said of how she felt 'stifled' being here, and I clearly remember what she said: "You say the witches aren't meant for everyday society, and then you make them leave if they don't live up to your standards." She implied these women are forced to stay with me or they risk death. Is Áine correct? Am I really to blame if they have chosen to left us?
Do I go looking for them, or do I let them live their lives?
I've searched every corner of Glimmerbrook, and I can't find them anywhere. I'll head back to the settlement on the off-chance they came back.
* * *
"Any luck, Tsuna?"
"None whatsoever, Annabeth, though I do have an honest question for you both - and I expect an honest answer: Do you both enjoy being here?"
"Of course we do," Annabeth replies. "Why do you ask?"
"Just curious."
"Tsuna, I doubt they left because they didn't want to be here. You know what I think? I think that they were scared."
"They were terrified of a potential uprising - but goodness knows why," Breanna adds. "Our leader is immortal and can attack with magic dragons, for goodness's sake."
The more we discuss it, the more it doesn't make sense-
"Tsuna! Tsuna, are you there? It's me! Katlego!"
Katlego? The accent...it's unmistakable. What's she doing all the way over here after all these years? A flush of guilt fills my entire being. I shouldn't have had her removed from the settlement the way I did, even if that was years ago at this point.
Unless - is she in danger?
"Katlego, please, enter. Are you safe?"
"I am now."
She and Ellie return, still looking very similar to when we met. Despite the sunshine yellow of her dress, she doesn't have the sunny disposition I remember her having. Her horse waits patiently behind her as she speaks.
"Tsuna, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I ever doubted what you did. I'm sorry I acted if I were superior for not fighting back. I - I - "
Emerald sniffs the air, seemingly recognising her.
"No, Katlego, please - it is not you who needs to apologise."
"There is no excuse for what I did to you, Katlego, nor others before you. I should not have acted as someone who would take in the lost and then cast them out into danger for not living up to my standards. You were right to do as you did - to stand by your pacifism, and I am sorry that I ever doubted you - deeply sorry."
"I am grateful to have you back, Katlego - one, to know that you are still with us, and two, so that I can offer my apologies to you. I ask for your forgiveness."
Henford's people may not be the most genuine in their apologies, but people like myself know how to make up for our wrongdoings. This likely seems a little extreme to her, but it is what I must do for what I did to her.
"Oh, you don't need to get on your knees, Iris- I mean, Tsuna."
"Hm? How do you know that name?"
She pauses. "Ah. Róisín returned to Henford. She assisted me with remedy deliveries for some time...and she mentioned that you speak highly of me."
She wipes the tears that start to pour.
"I used my magic on a witchfinder, Tsuna. I only wanted to deter him, but the terrible images that would have appeared in his mind - they drove him to suicide. I killed someone. All this superiority over never harming a single soul and now I just - I can't describe how horrible I feel."
What Katlego tells me only makes me more proud of her. She knows to defend herself now, at least.
"Your blame is completely misplaced, Kat. He did this to himself - all you did was frighten him off."
"This is what I've been trying to tell her, Tsuna," Ellie says. "See, Kat? Not your fault."
She lets out an airy sigh. "Tsuna, I cannot go back to Henford - I fear my own abilities, and I hope that being back in a place that values magic will help me to truly to come to terms with my own capabilities. That, and I fear the townspeople will turn on me once again - not to mention the witchfinders once they catch wind of what happened."
I see now why Kat fears her powers so much. Her magic is capable of altering the mind of others. Whilst that could be incredibly useful in some situations, I imagine it is easy to misuse even when you do not intend to. She ought to not fear herself - she is a wonderful person.
"I would welcome you and Ellie back with open arms. However, I do have a favour I may need to ask - and I may need to borrow your horse. You remember Jemima and Clara, don't you? They're missing - left without a sound and without a trace. Do you think you may be able to help me look for them? If they did leave on their own accord, I'd at least like to settle my nerves."
Kat smiles a little and gives a thankful nod. "I will do whatever is needed, Tsuna. Thank you for giving me a second chance."