Divided: Act 5:14- Fear and Longing

 CONTENT WARNING: allusions to suicide, religious issues and corruption

Áine

Today's lesson was intended to be about alchemy and balancing potion ingredients, but there's a slight problem with one of the students that prevented him from doing any alchemy. Well, not exactly a problem - more an unexpected self-discovery that has led to his lack of thumbs. For many teenagers, a changing body was to be expected as they grew up.

 

 

Teenage witches had even more bodily changes to deal with - naturally, finding their animal forms. Verity carries a panicking grey cat in her arms, and the two of us hear a familiar Champs Les Sims accent echo in our minds.

Miss Áine, I have no idea what I am doing! Verity, put me down this instant!

"I think you should stay this way forever, Matis. You're a lot cuter and more bearable."

What Verity says has some merit. A feline Matis may be much easier to deal with than a human Matis. Even cats are easier to predict than he is.

There's a rustling in the trees and bushes. I brace myself and Verity holds on tightly to Matis, whose fur bristles. Someone pushes their way through the plants...

"And what do you think you're doing?"

"Yeah, what do you - Oh! Mr. Burnham?"

Verity's positive familiarity with the man forces me to relax. He seems a little well-kept for a Glimmerbrook resident. I wonder who he is?

"You know him, Verity?"

"It is a pleasure to meet you! You are Áine, yes? And this must be your...erm... fine establishment of a school!"

Verity looks to him and back to me. "This is Xander Burnham. He's a Glimmerbrook resident like us."

"Indeed. You see, I've heard about your...'school'...from young Matis. He's friends with my son. I don't leave our little village much - but with the witchfinders dwindling, now I can finally introduce myself."

"I see. So why are you here? You'd like to have your son join?"

Matis looks to me with an inquisitive look and tries to nod. This man is telling the truth.

"Well, we have a few people at our settlement looking for a proper tutor. The thing is, some of us are more experienced with certain aspects than others. I used to build houses, landscape, and carve statues. don't use magic much, and as a result I haven't really got a good way to teach the young ones... and if it helps, we have a suitable building for you to use that's much cosier and safer than this cave!"

"We use these caves for a reason," I explain to him. "We use them to evade witchfinders."

"Don't worry, we're well-protected by dense trees and high fences. I'd like you to accompany me and see for yourself."

"Áine, you should definitely go and see what Xander and the others have built. You'll be amazed!"

I think back to the natural familiarity of Tsuna's settlement. Perhaps it's ungrateful of me to picture stone houses, warm beds, and an actual proper building to use as a potential school. Perhaps I can get more people on board if I have a proper place to teach them.

"I see. Well then, let's take a look. Verity, Matis, class is dismissed. Hopefully next time Matis will have thumbs again and we can actually do some studying..."

* * * 

Xander's settlement is a short walk away from the outskirts of Glimmerbrook, completely fenced off and surrounded by dense trees. When we enter, I cannot believe what I see...A painful yearning for Withernham tears through my chest when I see it. I pictured something far less quaint than the reality.

Beautiful plants and flowers line cobbled roads and little stone houses.

They even have a little farm, including chickens and adorable baby goats. The scent of wonderful flowers is a welcome distraction from the smell of farmyard animals.

I feel as Róisín must have felt, a longing for Withernham, for...dare I say it...a proper village to call home.

This must be one of Xander's stone carvings - a proud statue of a dragon, surrounded by two wolves- Wild magic flanked by his Practical brothers. A woman appears to be almost praying to it.

This lovely building is Xander's latest finished project, majestic and magical. This is the building he is offering me to use as a school. 

"The whole building?"

"The entire building." He gives me a confident nod. "I admit, we may have to use part of it for storage for the village, but otherwise, the rest is yours. It's all set up and ready to go whenever you are. You'll notice it feels a lot bigger on the inside than it does on the outside," he tells me, winking. "A witch's little secret, and a fair part of how I did so well in my business."

I can't take my eyes off of it. This is much nicer than a damp, cold cave...

I have heard a few stories of other witches taking inspiration and teaching what they know in caves and huts all over Glimmerbrook, marked with the carvings of the three magic symbols. To have the chance to teach in a proper establishment would mean the world to my students. With a settlement on the outskirts mostly obscured by trees and fencing, it's likely much safer. With any luck, we might even be able to attract more students.

"Xander, this place is all kinds of wonderful."

"It is, isn't it? I've always wanted to build something so fanciful as this. Unfortunately, it's not seen much use despite its beauty...Ideally, that's where you'd come in."

* * *

 The inside of the school has an elegance to it I could have only ever dreamed of. Colourful stained-glass windows, desks and candles and bookshelves lined with all sorts on magic and its history. 

The front of the room has an enormous chalkboard, as well as two paintings of the Wild and Practical symbols. It's perfect - it's beyond perfect.

"There's also an alchemy and potions laboratory upstairs, and even a spell practice arena. Trouble is, Áine, I'm always biting off more than I can chew with my builds and my decorating. I designed this entire place before even considering that any of us knew enough about magic to teach it to other people."

"You must have some level of skill if you can make rooms appear bigger on the inside than the outside."

"Indeed, but that's a trade secret," he replies, laughing.

I miss my days as a teacher. Teaching literacy and magic to Abigail's little village gave me a sense of accomplishment I'd never felt before, and ever since I've been chasing that same feeling. Most of the women at the settlement were further taught by Tsuna, and she wasn't always keen on the idea of me trying to show them a few other little tips and tricks. 

I've always felt a sense of a lack of accomplishment compared to most of the people I know. Katlego had her business, Clementia and Reynold were priests, Eli had his own business, my father was a well-respected soldier. Still, I had saved my partner's life by removing a curse from him, not an easy feat to pull off. I suppose, thinking about it, neither is stealing a man's life force...

"I need to ask you a few things, Xander. I understand this may be a little personal, but what brought you to Glimmerbrook?"

He chuckles to himself in an unnerving manner.

"I've had a few apprentices. My last one, I was training him as a metalswmith...Caught me using Ignis to light a furnace. Tattled on me to his parents, who'd threatened to have me hung by my neck for 'corrupting their child with magic'. I fled before they could find me, and along with one of the few other men I found here, we built this little village together with blood, sweat, tears, and a little magic."

I put my hand to my chest in sympathy.

"And what a lovely little village you've put together. As for myself, I took my daughter and fled from a witch-hunt near to Withernham."

"I see. That's the fun part of living in Glimmerbrook- wondering what everyone's demons are. Seems I was spot-on with yours. I'm sorry that happened to you."

"And the same to you, Xander."

"Ah, it's nothing to worry about," he replies, laughing. "You know how it is. All we can do is rebuild and hope for the best."

"I'm so grateful for this opportunity, Xander. I don't know how I'm supposed to repay you for this."

Xander gives me a soft smile. 

"You'll be repaying me by helping fulfill something we all wish we could have done properly...giving the folk of Glimmerbrook a good arcane education. Well, that, and we might need some help with the animals and crops. Oh, and I'm more than happy to accommodate you and a partner, if you have one."

Accommodate? My heart jumps in my chest at the thought of living somewhere closer to an actual village again. I love the natural way of life, but part of me yearns too much for Withernham's comforts. I'm sure Reynold would be interested, also - it's rather hard to be intimate when everyone in the settlement can hear everything through thin wooden walls and makeshift windows.

"I'll have to ask him, but I love the sound of that."

"Wonderful. I'm glad to have you on board, Áine. The children are ready to start learning when you're ready to start teaching."

* * *

[Róisín's letter to Áine and Reynold]

Dear Mother and Father,

Being back in Henford has been lovely! It has been good to meet new people and old friends and family. I help Katlego with herbal deliveries, I've met Dr. Annorin, and I spend a few days a week with Eli. Alistair has been helping me learn more about the history of the Lunvinchenaîné. I also met a man named Gideon who said he once worked with Brádach. Mother, I am very sorry to learn the truth behind my grandfather by blood. He was a cruel man, and I hope you never have to see him again. Do not worry, I am not upset that you did not tell me about him. I understand why you didn't. He was a terrible man.

Did you know Dr. Annorin still has the gryphon drawing I made for him when I was eight? I am hoping to possibly see Violeta, but I'm not sure if she will remember me or if she's still as scary as she was when we met.

I hope you are both doing well and the other as well. I will write to you again soon. Know that I am safe and happy and wish the same for you both.

I love you,

- from your Little Rose

* * *

"Thank you all for gathering for today's sermon. Today's sermon will be rather different to what you are used to. Today, not a single one of you shepherds will be subject to shame and forced into guilt. It is I who is truly guilty, and I owe every single shepherd an apology for the way that I have pulled the wool over your eyes as I myself have had it pulled over mine."

"I have committed much cruelty in the name of the Watcher. I have watched 'witches' burn- a 'witch' being anyone that dares speak out against Lord Volpe. I had Shepherdess Clementia removed from the cathedral because a part of me saw her as a threat to my position. As a woman so high in the ranks of Jacobism, I have done nothing but throw other women under the horse and carriage with that power."

"I even went as far as to try and have Clementia labelled as a witch and killed. Yacothian Jacobism is about doing good at all times to ensure your salvation upon death or the Eve of Retribution, and yet all I have done is give you the masculine, bastardised version of Jacobism...the fear, the guilt, the shame. I convinced you all that Julian was the enemy when I, too, led you against the witches and reshaped the Watcher's teachings in my own image for the sake of power."

"None of you have to accept my apology, but I am deeply sorry for what I have done to you all and to the people of Henford. I have lied to you all - about witches, about Jacobism, and about everything else. I understand this may be a lot to take in, but you've been misled your entire lives - by the High Priests and by myself."

"Juniper!"

"Edmund, let me finish."

"I understand that the Watcher would never forgive me after all I've done in Their name. That said, I will be stepping down as Great Convincer. I will no longer be coming to this cathedral. With all I have just admitted, I would be surprised if any shepherd here ever saw me again- but it is a risk I am willing to change. However, my last wish as Great Convincer is to hope I can convince you all to think twice about Jacobism, witches, and the High Priests."

 

"I threw so many people under the horse and carriage to preserve my own life and success, and so now I shall sacrifice it all and throw myself under the horse and carriage for the good of the people of Henford...and for the good of all you shepherds."

"Juniper-"

"Enough, Edmund!"

"Thank you to all of you who listened to my sermons, and who believed in me - and I apologise profusely for having misled you. I was wrong to silence Clementia and Julian - they had done far more for you all than I had done."

"Shepherdess Juniper...Please, don't leave. We like having a woman in charge here."

"I apologise, but I am not the kind of woman that ought to be leading you. I will always be thankful for you shepherds, for every Simoleon and for every sermon you have visited. This sermon is dismissed."

* * *

"Accusing me and my father of lying? Telling the shepherds they've been misled? Taking the sides of the witches? The sheer blasphemy!"

"I've been misled for far too long, Edmund, and I've been the one doing the misleading. We mock the Peterans for their inability to agree on what Peterism is and yet every Jacoban has a different idea of what Jacobism is. I'm tired of misleading others. Aren't you?"

"I haven't misled anyone! I've obeyed the Watcher's every command! You had Julian removed from this cathedral and here you are, grovelling as he did! I don't even know where I'd start with absolving you!"

"I'd 'absolve' myself if I could, but I've betrayed the Watcher enough to be ungrateful for Their gift of life."

 

"Kill me with Jacob's sword if you must. Fear means nothing to a Jacoban. I do not fear absolution, I do not fear the Watcher, I do not fear death - and most of all, I do not fear you or Lord Volpe."