CONTENT WARNING: Mentions of death by childbirth and a certain someone who had his own partner killed.
Katlego
Róisín leaves me with much to think about. First, it is glad that she is still alive and well, and to see her grow up with her mother's manners and kindness is another pleasantry. Second, what she said about Tsuna- it almost feels like ancient history at this point, being rescued by Ellie and my time at Glimmerbrook. Tsuna having nice things to say about me definitely took me by surprise considering I was essentially exiled for what I did - or rather, what I didn't do. I remember our clash all too well. Perhaps she's come to realise my reasoning over the years.
I look down once again upon the growing pile of letters on the floor next to the desk - the one at the bottom being the response from my parents from almost four years ago. I've never opened it in the fear of how they might respond to what I said to them - the potential that I may have to defend myself or someone else someday. I feared that they would feel I've let them down. They gave me a name meaning success, and I have no clue if I've lived up to that name in their eyes or not.
I can't leave it there any longer. With my fingers trembling, I open the envelope and give myself no choice but to be faced with something I've long avoided.
[Letter from Katlego's mother, Emene, to Katlego]
Darling Katlego,
Growing up, you were always so worried you would let us down and that you would not live up to your name. Starting a business overseas? Finding an acceptable way to use your gifts? Showing the people of Henford the truth of a slimy draconian physician? And what could be more fitting for the title of boferefere than convincing a man to drink urine? You know why we named you something meaning 'success', don't you? It was nothing to do with expectation - it was to do with knowledge. We knew that, whatever path you may choose in life, you would be successful and you would make us more than proud.
We admit, we were not worried about you - not because we did not care, but because we know your strength and your confidence. Your father cried reading your letter and then promptly denied doing so. I know you have always longed to experience new places, and we knew you would thrive wherever you end up - though your father and I are both so sorry that it had to be Henford. I hear it is grey skies and rainclouds all year around, and the food is rather like eating soil.
I am thankful to know that you have people who have supported you through everything, and who see you for the wonderful and honest woman you truly are. Give Owen and Gideon my thanks. As for Oskar, I apologise deeply for the loss. I am thankful to know that he tried to protect you.
As for your worries, Katlego, I want you to know that I completely understand. Where we are, it is easy to live the way I lived, the way I raised you to live. Where you are now, it is a very different world. As you said, the people around you always resort to bloodshed. The people of Henford are like wild dogs. They will do anything to stay on top, as you already know. In the world you are in now, I feel you may have no choice but to fight back in a way that I would have scolded you for doing back home.
The truth is, my dear, that I would rather have a daughter that disobeyed me and survived, than a daughter that obeyed me and paid the price for doing so with her life. Use your gifts however you may need to. So long as you do not become too accustomed and use such means for situations that don't require it, you do whatever it is you need to do to stay alive.
I cannot believe it. A partner. A woman? You found love and chose to tell me so little about Ellie! You must tell me all about her in your next letter, which I await with much excitement!
Ke Go Tlhologeletswe,
- Your mme, Emene
[ There is an ornate drawing of a tiger and a spider at the bottom of the page.]
Mme...You have been awaiting my reply for four years? I left your letter unread because I thought I'd let you down, and you had nothing but kind words to say about me. I've left you waiting for so long and all you wanted to say was how much you supported everything I've done.
My parents always believed in me- it was a huge part of why I feared letting them down so much. When someone works so hard for you, when someone gives you the world and more, the last thing you want to do is hurt them. My mother is right. Henford is a different world to home, one where I may have to defend myself or others in a way I normally wouldn't resort to.
A weight lifts off my chest. All my fears of letting down my parents subside. I know that, whatever happens, they will be by my side, even I have to defend myself using my magic.
That said, I have seen the ways that such freedoms can be abused. The witchfinders, the vampires, half of Henford - what starts as 'necessary' harm can easily end in thoughtless bloodshed. Whatever happens, I cannot become accustomed to violence. It can never become my first choice. I will not become like the vampires, and I will not become like the witchfinders.
* * *
I just can't get used to autumn weather. You get so used to the sliver of sunshine Henford gets, then it's taken from you for another six or seven months.
In spite of the awful weather, Edwin and Róisín were hard at work doing all of the deliveries.
"It was so great getting to know this place again! I'm pretty tired, though..."
"Oh, bless you. I will warn you, it'll get busier with the winter coming up! Don't worry, all the hard work will keep you warm in the cold weather!"
I realise we've missed one - Gideon's. Edwin tells Róisín how to get there, and tells her that Gideon is like a 'grandfather' to him and that she shouldn't be worried going out to Willow Creek.
"You know, you can't just give Róisín all of your work, Edwin!"
"No, no, it's not that. It's just...I have something you ought to know that might have scared her. You see, I've heard around that Lord Volpe is planning something of a recruitment event."
Recruitment event? What kind of event would Volpe need to do when people are falling for his lies and begging at his feet to work for him? Even now, witchfinding is one of the only reliable sources of good money.
"Surely he has enough people working for him!"
"I don't know, but it could be a good thing. Maybe there's more supporters of witches out there than we might think... Or maybe he's just too old to threaten teenagers into doing his dirty work these days."
Edwin has a good point. I do genuinely think that there are plenty of people who support us- after all, many had my back after the scandal concerning Samuel Annorin knowing I wasn't entirely working from ancient science. Trouble is, many fear that voicing their opinions will get them killed. Even Ellie is disgusted. Why is he rearing his ugly head now, of all times? It's been fairly quiet in terms of the topic of magic.
"He's holding it at his mansion not too far from here."
Róisín
It's a little tricky, but I find my way to Willow Creek. It's much quieter here than it is in Henford, and much more affluent. Even the smaller houses look rather fanciful, and all the children are dressed in luxurious clothes. The Reyes household is easy to pick out - it's right on a corner.
I knock at the door and tell the occupants that I come with their remedy, and a deep voice asks me to come in. There's an older man with long hair deep into his book, sinking back into his armchair.
"Ooh, the plot thickens...Oh, sorry. Yes, just over there, please. I'll get your Simoleons in just a moment." He peers up from his book. "Ah. You must be new."
"You could say that. I'm Róisín. It's good to meet you, Gide-"
"Róisín?"
People are always surprised to hear my name. "Yes, it's not common here. I'm not originally from Henford-"
He squints at me, as if questioning himself. "I believe my son has mentioned you in passing before. You're Eli's niece, correct?"
"That's correct... What a small world."
"A small world indeed," he says, closing his book in one hand with a thud. "I do believe there's a possibility that I may have...known your grandfather, Brádach."
My mother has never spoken of Brádach outside of mentioning his name once or twice. I wonder why she's never spoken of him? I'm guessing he was likely burned, like my grandmother Saoirse was. This has me intrigued. Surely Katlego wouldn't be upset at me taking a little break after walking all the way here?
"If you have time, Mr. Reyes, do you think you could tell me about him?"
He closes his eyes and grunts to himself. I may regret asking this, but it would fill a gap in what I know about my family.
* * *
Everything I learn from Gideon is horrible - beyond horrible. It's no wonder Mother never spoke of Brádach. He struggles to even speak about it, his voice lapsing into a growling tone as he speaks of it all.
He tried to stop my mother from learning about her magic in detail...and look at all the good that did for my father and aunt. Not only that, but he even underwent the Rite of Dissolution and had my mother burned, all to protect himself and remove suspicion. My feelings circle in my stomach like a group of vultures.
and Gideon himself was a witchfinder...I try to withhold my anger, though I expected more of it given my blood. This man took the time to tell me about my grandfather and all of his actions, but he says it all with an air of regret. I did say to Aunt Clementia that I wanted to regain a connection with Peterism, and one tenet of Peterism is considering second chances...
There's something I need to get off my chest - and perhaps only he will understand.
"I'm angry, but I should be angrier," I tell him, my voice shaking. "I don't understand why."
Gideon gives me a slow nod. "I'm still furious at what he did to his own partner, and the way he threw so many people to the dogs, but...I must admit, Róisín, so did I. Something Brádach and I had in common...we both made drastic decisions to help us survive in a world that had no place for us. When the love of my life Ruth died giving birth to my children, money was rough; I'd lost my job to the industrial takeover, like so many people did."
I apologise to him. To lose your loved one like that must have hurt unimaginably...My mother and father are lucky to still have each other after all they've been through.
"And Brádach, well, he did everything he did out of fear. It doesn't excuse what he did at all, but I do believe it wouldn't have happened were it not for the state of the world that he was born into."
It pains me to think about it, but Gideon is right, in a way. It was his fault what happened, but there's a chance it may not have, had Brádach not had to feel such shame for his magic. If Gideon hadn't have lost his job to the growing industrial developments, then he may have just kept his prejudices to himself and never became a witchfinder.
I won't be like Brádach. I won't be ashamed, no matter what Volpe's witchfinders try. I won't throw my friends and fellow witches to the dogs.
"The world is changing, Róisín. People are slowly beginning to open themselves up to the idea of witchcraft. Not everyone is afraid of Volpe - certainly not me. I've defied him a few times, and I'd gladly do it again."
I can't imagine the sheer bravery it would take to defy someone so powerful, but a step forward is a step forward. I believe that Gideon is not the same man he once was - I could tell that in his voice and expressions.
I want to ask him so many other questions, but I shan't leave Katlego waiting any longer. I thank Gideon for his time and head back to her. Perhaps the next time his remedy is due, I can ask him more questions.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: 'boferefere', Setswana for 'cunning' is the name that Kat and her family use for Mischief magic. The original word for it I used meant something totally different due to a research error on my part (pretty sure it might have been 'pregnant' IIRC) , so I must have messed up using translators somehow.