CONTENT WARNING: murder, fire
[Excerpt from Saoirse's diary]
Today, my daughter has truly discovered her magic! Of course, like all babies, she would let off little sparks of excitement now and again before, but she is old enough now to realise exactly what has happened.
It happened as I was reading through my grimoire, and making a few additions- I heard a yelp of curiosity from the middle of the room.
Little Áine had created a little blue light in her hands, and sat mesmerised by it, like a moth would be by a candle's flame. Of course, my partner's reaction was not as positive as my own...
I took my daughter in my arms and held her. For any witch, the discovery of one's own magic is an exciting time- a time where you are likely too young to know the hardships of those who carry magic in the blood. Too young to know of the witch-hunts and the executions. The pretty lights in between your fingers are enough. She was the reason I worked so hard on my grimoire- to give my knowledge to the next generation, so my daughter would know not just how to help others, but how to survive herself.
Brádach and I argued with each other. He hoped he would never discover her magic; some children born of witches are not born with magic, and some do not discover their magic until much later in life- if not at all in some rare cases. He hoped that his daughter would never have or find her gift. He said it was for her own safety- he is misguided, if not idiotic. So I told him exactly what I thought of his 'concern':
I told him, if he truly cared for her safety, he would be doing as I am doing- teaching the children how to survive and how to stay safe. If any witch-hunter crosses my path, I'd set him alight without a second thought. No, I am not the witch who will run and hide- I cannot let down my child like that, nor anyone else's child. I not going to tell my daughter to hide. I am going to tell the rest of the world to let her be, and if they do not listen, then I will retaliate.
Even those without magic are targets of the witch-hunts at this point, and yet those without magic are still against us, believing everything the witch-hunters and Jacobans tell them, thinking they would never become a target. They don't realise that the definitions of what constitutes a 'witch' will only become broader and broader. At first, it was about 'maleficium'- harmful witchcraft. Then the definitions broadened into any woman who didn't obey, and any man who refused to let harm come to his sister, his daughter, his partner, his wife...
What am I supposed to think of Brádach? I could not bear to talk to him, and so I sat down with little Áine and tried to explain magic to her in a way that would make sense to someone so young.
It didn't entirely go to plan. In all her childlike excitement, she wanted to learn spells now. No young child could learn to properly cast a spell. For any witch starting to learn her power, she had to learn to control it first, to truly understand it- not to mention a toddler's verbal and motor skills were not enough to cast any spell successfully.
I can still picture the face she gave me- one of scorn and betrayal. It would not have been so funny if she weren't so little.
I explained to her as much as I could that magic was very powerful, and more than just pretty lights. I told her that, to use such a power, you have to know how first. Of course, any parent of a witch child would expect a few accidental broken objects now and again, but those are just little accidents. At least one of us wants nothing but the best for our little girl.
* * *
Áine
five years later
Mother has come back from teaching, so I am helping her. I like to help her in the shed. It always reeks of something awful in there when she makes potions, but I am used to it now. I planted some seeds in the pot. I can't grow them outside because these particular plants are associated with witches, and Mother says that people do not always like witches. Why not? I love being a witch. I have special powers! Don't other people want them too?
Mother and I fish for dinner in the local river. She's much better at it than me, but I have fun fishing anyway. We go careful when we're fishing, though. My mother tells me that we have to make sure that we make every part of an animal count if we eat it. With the fish, we use the bones and scales as potion ingredients and spell components as well. The eyes too.
Sometimes I plant some more seeds outside or I feed the birds with spare grain, because Mother also says that we must give back to the world and not just take from it. If we did, the Sun and the Moon would be angry and the aos sí would be angry too. I've never seen them, but Mother says you do not want to make them angry!
We will eat well this evening, but not everyone is as lucky as us. Some people don't have much to eat. Some witches can make food from thin air if they know the recipe to cook it, and then those witches will share the food with the poor and the hungry. It's hard to do well, though- it's easy to mess up the recipe in your head and then it comes out all yucky.
* * *
Before I cook the fish, Mother makes me thank the fish for giving us a meal. The smell of cooking fish and the smoke of the fire is only making me hungrier! It is a cold night, but we have the fire. We have fire, and we have food, and for that, we are both fortunate. I try to remind myself of what I'm fortunate for every day.
"Mother? Can we discuss something?"
"Of course, my dear," she replies, through a mouthful of seared fish.
"Father says I should stop focusing on my magic for my own-"
"Whatever your father says, my dear, ignore it. His advice is no good for you."
"But Mother, I don't understand. Why doesn't he want me to learn magic? I never see him use any magic either."
Mother gazes into the flames for a moment, taking a reluctant bite out of the fish.
"Your father thinks that us witches should not ever learn about the magic within us, nor show it. You see, there are people that do not like magic. They are afraid of us, and fear drives hatred. Not everyone is like this, mind you, my child, but they are out there, actively looking for us. A child who does not learn her magic does not learn to control it- that only leads to many problems in later life."
Learning magic is fun, but Mother always tells me I must be careful with it. I'm only learning protective magic for now, and Practical magic- but I want to learn wild magic, the power of nature itself! Maybe I will have a look in Mother's grimoire, though I will have to do it when she is not around...
"Not only that, my child, but you must learn how to defend yourself. I think you are old enough now to know that the world will often not be kind, and you will need to know all you can if you are to survive. Not only is the world not kind to a witch, but neither to a woman."
After we finish our supper, we lay in the grass and gaze up at the stars. I like to think that, one day, we could travel to them. I wonder what they would look like up close?
I hold my mother's hand as we lay in the grass.
"Mother...do I need to be scared?"
Her eyes shine in the starlight, like she's about to cry. I don't want her to cry.
"We all get scared now and again, my child- even adults. But let me tell you something... almost every spellcaster has the ability to shape-shift into an animal. For me, that is the wolf. It will likely be the same for you also-"
"-And wolves aren't scared of anything."
"All animals feel some level of fear; it's how they survive," she says, "but the wolf is brave, and it will do all it can to protect its pack. It relies on its gut instinct, and a woman's gut instinct is not often wrong. When all seems impossible, remember to think like the wolf."
I hope I can turn into a wolf too, someday.
* * *
Mother teaches magic to young witch children inside a hidden cave every other day. There's a little symbol scratched into the entrance. The witch-hunters wouldn't have thought twice about these symbols; they look like they belong to an older civilisation, but I know what it is. It's the symbol of wild magic, the powerful Dragon. Today we learned more about casting Practical spells and self-defense spells, but all we asked about was wild magic. Mother said we were far too young to learn it and that it's very dangerous- but that's what makes it so interesting!
When night falls, I hear what sounds like yelling and a chanting mob outside. Mother is fast asleep, so I quietly make my way outside...Mother would be furious if she saw me, but I have to see what is going on. It sounds like a woman's screaming, like she's frightened of something.
I see a light in the distance, and a large group of people around the light. She's screaming that she's innocent, but I cannot hear the words that the rest of the crowd are saying over the chanting...though I can hear one word over and over in their chanting: witch. They are far away, but I hide for a moment just in case. When it's safe, I peek around the tree...
I can't believe what I am seeing. I can smell the smoke from over here! They're burning her!
The screams are very loud now, and the crowd start cheering. The flames grow quickly, and as well as the smoke, I can smell something like cooking meat...But why? Why would they hurt her- and so cruelly? I would have called for Mother, but it's too late...the screaming stops shortly after.
When I think of Mother, I realise...perhaps this woman was a mother, too, and now her children would be orphans. Perhaps a lot of witch children are orphans now- maybe even the ones I share a class with.
Yesterday, we had food, warmth and shelter. Today, I have a mother when many like me don't. Tonight, this is what I am fortunate for.
CREDITS: Wolf art and divider by GDJ on Pixabay
Most of the CC used can be found here.
Toddler magic poses, 'behind tree' pose and 'teaching students' poses are by me.